The trick to finding this person though is to never resign yourself. Never let the lonely days swallow you up, never accept that you’ll just be one of those people who doesn’t get to be loved. Because the second you start believing it, it can become true. That’s the scary part. How quickly days can turn into years. Just like that. I’ve always said that the whole “love comes to those who aren’t expecting it” is BS. Who ISN’T expecting love? I didn’t expect love for two solid years and guess where it got me? Celibacy. You should always expect to be loved, you should always expect to find somebody to love because if you don’t, you do get your worst fears confirmed and then you’re a goner. Then you’re denying yourself what you deserve.
The older I get, the more I embrace my right to be not okay. Not mean to others, or wildly depressed, but to feel a little blah from time to time. I recognize that not every day is meant to be bursting with joy. Sometimes, things are just okay, or even a little icky.
Obviously, when I saw this secret in this week’s Postsecret batch, I had to blog about it, since it reffered to the exact same dose I was prescribed when I was at my worst.
As I’ve blogged many times, my experience with Fluoxetine was very positive. I had my doubts on whether taking medication was the right thing for me (fear of dependance, considering that I have a history of addiction in my family), but when I hit rock bottom, my therapist suggested it so I could reach a basic level of stability to continue treatment.
I didn’t experience any numbness at all, but, then again, I’m a very passionate and expressive person when it comes to my emotions. When I had to be happy, I was still happy, when I had to be sad, I was still sad, when I had to be angry, the world still knew it. Au contraire, I felt like I was much more aware of myself and my surroundings, instead of being lost in a vortex of my negative thoughts.
Realizing this was HUGE; it was somehting that hadn’t happened to me in YEARS.
Can you imagine that? Years of not embracing the beautiful morning of the tropic, the smell of an epic pizza, how good I felt with my family and friends’ company, due to the dementors in my head. Winning this back was amazing!
Every person’s experience is different, but I’m glad the green pill came into my life, and I’m even more glad to let it go. It did its part, and now it’s time to move on and up.
Loving, meaningful romantic relationships are not a limited-edition item. If it feels like all your friends are getting into these great relationships and you’re being left behind, remind yourself that there is not just one good relationship out there and whoever finds it first is the only one that gets it. There’s no deadline on finding someone wonderful.