…makes me extremely uncomfortable.
(Stupid post ahead)
I am well aware of the fact that my mid-twenties mark the beginning of the dreaded wedding craze. Most of the coupled people in my life has graduated, gotten into stable jobs, some fun experiences here and there, and feel like the logic next step is Marriageville. I’m genuinely happy for those friends/acquaintances that have done it because I can see they’ve “married well” (more in a personality/healthy match type-thing, than a condescending thing, OJO) and wish them lots of epicness together. However, I can’t help to cringe a little inside everytime someone announces “IT”.
There are two big reasons why:
a) My relationship sheet is still blank.
b) I’ve never been invited to one as an adult.
I feel excluded, rejected and insecure everytime people start talking about venues, appointments, dresses and the perfect hors d’oevures. I don’t mind looking at these things in the media or on Pinterest. In real life… not so much. My train of thoughts go through two stages:
a) Why them and not me?
b) Why can’t I be a part of their big night*?
* I’m not sure about other lattitudes, but most weddings tend to take place in the night, so people can go home from work, change and get to the location in a reasonable amount of time.
I know it’s not exactly mature having these thoughts at this age, and that people have their reasons and must be respected, but, in a way, it’s like high school cliques all over again.
I feel like there’s a key to be a grownup (akin to those fancy hotel room cards) and, despite all the hard work I’ve put on myself for the past year and a half, it hasn’t arrived for me yet. And it’s frustrating and ridiculous, and stupid, but I want it. I want to congratulate you, wear the nice dress, go to the cool venue, drink wine, chat with people, eat cake, etc. I want to be a part of it.
I want to belong… as I am.